Realistically, the only time it’s truly socially acceptable to crack open a beer before 7 a.m. is when it’s either tailgate season or St. Patty’s Day. Why do you think “top o’ the mornin’ to ya” is a phrase, and an optimistic one at that? Any morning that begins with a cold one is a good day in my book.
St. Patty’s Day falls on a Monday this year (let’s get the collective groan out of the way), and the weekend prior to will be full of Irish-themed festivities in downtown Detroit. Things will be especially bumpin’ on Sunday for the 56th Annual Detroit St. Patrick’s Parade.
The parade itself begins at noon, but there are a few other happenings that morning leading up to the big event. Parade Day Mass will be held at St. Patrick’s Catholic Church, 58 Parsons Ave., Detroit, at 9 a.m., followed by the Corktown Race at 9:30 a.m.
The 32nd Annual Corktown Race kicks off at the Ambassador Bridge with a Kids Quarter Mile at 9:30 a.m., followed by the brand new Dublin Dash Mile at 9:40 a.m. and the 5K at 10 a.m. Because it’s St. Patty’s Day and there has to be an element of fun to go along with the healthy aspect, the race involves a costume contest. Deck yourself out in your “Kiss Me I’m Irish” t-shirt along with your craziest green garb and get ready to run! Registration is required and costs $20 to $35 (depending on the race) through Friday, March 14.
After the race, it’s parade time! The St. Patty’s Day Parade, featuring Grand Marshals Tom and Bridie Flynn, begins at noon at 6th St. and Michigan Ave. in Corktown (the parade winds down Michigan Ave.). Attendees are encouraged to march in the parade, which includes pipe and drum bands, color guard, floats, clowns (yeesh), marching units and more.
If after the parade you’re looking for somewhere to continue the party (and let’s face it, there’s a 98.8 percent chance you will be), there are plenty of Irish pubs in the surrounding Detroit area where you’ll find plenty of Killian’s and green beer. Stumble, I mean, walk in an orderly fashion, to one of the following:
Remember, while St. Patty’s Day is like the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, do not drive home after participating in the festivities. Call a cab or a sober friend to pick you up, and don’t endanger yourself or the lives of others. On that note, drink all the green beer you can stomach, be merry, and have St. Patty’s Day worth remembering! Er, or maybe not.