If you can look at paczki and think of anything besides all of the hours you’re going to need to spend on the elliptical in order to burn each and every delicious calorie off, consider yourself lucky.
These sugary, glazed, custard and fruit filled babies are an indulgence so sinful, it’s no wonder they’re typically the last indulgence for many before Lent. For others, they’re just an excuse to consume a doughnut-like object that packs as many calories as an entire meal (for four).
Fat Tuesday is tomorrow, Feb. 17, and whether you’re trying to stay away from paczki or not, there’s a 99 percent chance you’ll come across them somehow throughout the day. Here’s where you can find them in the D!
Small’s, 10339 Conant St., Hamtramck, celebrates Paczki Day with paczki bombs every year—which are injected with booze. The bar is opening bright and early at 10 a.m. for the occasion, and Polish food will be on the menu, in case you need something to go with your paczki.
Live music begins at 4 p.m. and there is no cover charge all day. Don’t forget to purchase a limited edition 2015 Paczki Day T-shirt while you’re there!
Paris Bakery, 28418 Joy Rd., Livonia, is a Polish bakery known for its paczki. These rich, delightful pastries are available in a variety of flavors, including custard, blueberry, apple, raspberry, prune and lemon.
Paczki cost $1.95 each, and can be ordered by the dozen ($18) or half dozen ($10). When you pick up your order, enjoy authentic Polish music from Joe Czapski from 6 a.m. to 6 p.m. The bakery will be open for your convenience from 5 a.m. to 8 p.m. on Fat Tuesday, so you’ll have plenty of time to make your way there.
Lazybones Smokehouse, 27475 Groesbeck Hwy., Roseville, has officially won the paczki game. Wait a minute; a barbecue joint takes the cake when it comes to paczki? Yes, because the ones produced here are maple bacon paczki. I’ll give you a moment to let your arteries unclog just from reading that sentence.
The paczki are topped with maple glaze and homemade “pig candy bacon,” and if you need a visual, they look like this. So long diet, surely this creation is worth it. These paczki are available for $2.50 each, or you can get a dozen for $25 or half dozen for $15.
New Palace Bakery, 9833 Joseph Campau Ave., Hamtramck, is a family-owned favorite for paczki. There are plenty of traditional flavors here, as well as more zany ones, so if you’re looking for something a little more adventurous (and perhaps even more calorie filled), New Palace is the place to go.
Traditional paczki flavors include apricot, buttercream, pineapple, strawberry, custard and plain rolled in granulated sugar. There are several options with specialty fillings, such as Caramel Cream and Strawberry and Chocolate (filled with strawberry glaze and milk chocolate drizzle). New this year, try the Chocolate/Marshmallow Crunch (covered with milk chocolate and graham cracker crumbs) or Chocolate Hazelnut/Buttercream (covered with chocolate hazelnut topping). You can always have a salad to make up for it later, right?
Holiday Market, 520 S. Lilley Rd., Canton, has an excellent bakery, and the convenience of picking up fresh, delicious paczki while grocery shopping is just too good an opportunity to pass up. Paczki will be available in various flavors, including custard, strawberry, apple, raspberry, lemon and blueberry, all of which are available in glazed or powdered. Prune is also available (only glazed), but really, who wants a prune anything?
Paczki cost $9.99 for a dozen or $0.89 each. The store will open bright and early at 6 a.m. on Fat Tuesday, so get there at the crack of dawn!
Sister Pie, produces its pies out of a kitchen located at 4750 Woodward Ave., Detroit, while we all eagerly await the grand opening of the official location. This story is about paczki, so why are we talking about pie? Because on Fat Tuesday, you’ll find three exclusive paczki flavors at the Parker Street Market, Germack Coffee Roasting Co. and Always Brewing Detroit, courtesy of Sister Pie.
Those tantalizing flavors include Salted Peanut Butterscotch, “Pieraczki” (pierogi meets paczki) and Pumpernickel Poppy Meyer Lemon.
Treat Dreams, 22965 Woodward Ave., Ferndale, makes some of the best ice cream around, and for Fat Tuesday, the shop will be combining everyone’s favorite Fat Tuesday indulgence with a frozen treat: ice cream.
If you thought paczki were good on their own, wait until you try the blueberry paczki ice cream at Treat Dreams. Again, enjoy now, eat salad for the rest of the week. You’re welcome.
Brace yourself today, Metro Detroiters, because tomorrow is Fat Tuesday! Enjoy your pastry and try not to think about the nutritional content as you do so.